Social Media: Blessing or Bane?

Social Media has been such a blessing to the many groups and organizations I have volunteered with over the years. With social media, specifically Facebook, we have been able to create group pages to help our members stay informed and connected with each other. In the past, we would send out multiple mass emails and hope that those who needed to get the information actually read their emails! Now, we can post in Facebook and we can create an event and invite our members.

These are the blessings of Social Media:

1. As mentioned above, creating an event to remind our members about upcoming activities. And the great thing about Facebook and an event is that the member will receive updates and reminders the day before and the day of.

2. You have a last minute announcement? No problem, post it in your Facebook group and you can be sure that a majority of your members will see it.

3. In our military world, those on their way to our location can now search through Facebook and find groups they are interested in learning more about and connecting with folks in the new location.



Are there really banes when using social media? Yes, a couple.

1. Not everyone is on Facebook or social media. Be sure to have a back up communication method for those who don't "do Facebook". Do you have an email list for your group? Are you sending courtesy emails to those who you know are not on Facebook? Hurt feelings can occur when folks miss out on an event or announcement.

2. Friending everyone in your Facebook group. Think about it. Why did you first join a particular social group or women's group? For most of us it is because we are looking to make new friends and connect with other people with a similar interest. Here is where the downfall occurs. You join a group and really like the folks at the meetings you go to. You then start to send friend requests to the people in this group. You think you are friends! And then you start to see these same friends are actually getting together socially outside of the group. Without you. This, in particular, is where you need to be careful about what you post on Facebook. This is where feelings get hurt and people leave your group because of the exclusion that they see. Be careful.

So use your social media groups in a mature and business-like way.

Dress Dare Challenge

I had really intended to blog more about my May Dress Dare Challenge but this month just got away from me. Between end of year Girl Scout activities, end of year school activities and end of year PTSO events, it seemed as if I was moving from one major thing to the next. So, let me write a few things about the Dress Dare Challenge.

A couple of years ago, a friend challenged me to wear skirts or dresses every day during the month of May in honor of our Heavenly Mother, Mary. I accepted the challenge and wore a skirt or dress every day whenever I left the house except for one time. And when June 1st rolled around, I put my shorts and pants right back on! It did not convert me to become a 365-day skirt wearer.

You can read about my experiences in my other blog posts from 2012.


I've been in a sort of spiritual dry-spell for some time now and challenged myself again this year. My thoughts were that by imitating Mary in dress it might be possibly help me to get back on a better route in my spiritual devotion. This time, I had the added challenge of a Girl Scout camp right in the middle of May. When I told a fellow volunteer about my challenge, she asked how was I going to get through camp. Skorts, my friend, fuddy-duddy old-lady skorts.

My challenge didn't start well. I had posted in a Catholic facebook group of women in April asking if anyone wanted to join me in the challenge and I was immediately besieged with comments from fellow military spouses accusing me of trying to be holier than them. Sigh. Not a good start to the challenge. After that little outpouring of "support", I decided to keep the Dress Dare challenge to myself.

I wore skirts every single day of the month of May in honor of Our Mother, Mary. I even wore skorts over the weekend at camp. It was not comfortable or in anyway attractive but the skorts served the purpose. Here is proof, too! And I look hideous.

Okay, now confession time. There was one day that I cheated. ONE DAY! Two days after camp, I had not gotten my house cleaned, I had not done laundry in awhile and I had to go the GS hut and unpack boxes and tubs from camp. I threw on a pair of loose-fitting linen pants to get the job done and then went to lunch with a friend. But, later that night when I had another meeting, I changed into a skirt so technically I did wear a skirt all 31 days of May.

The skorts I ordered from Macys.com were a lifesaver during this challenge. I already owned a black skort but went ahead and ordered a kaki, white and chambray skirt for everyday wear. I absolutely loved two knit-spandex skirts I picked up at Costco. These two skirts hit right at the knee and when paired with a plain tee got me through a few days as well. I also found a couple of maxi skirts at TJMAXX and Ross that helped out with the rest of the days.

On June 1st, I am looking forward to wearing something else from my closet. But because of all of the new additions to my wardrobe, I will most likely be sporting more skirts in my every day wardrobe.

Did participating in the Dress Dare Challenge help with my spiritual dryness? I don't think so. Wearing skirts every day isn't something that can pull you out of your funk unless you pair the challenge with added prayer or devotion. These are things I really, really need to put more focus on and I thank you for your prayers for that.

Closing Prayer

Last week I wrote about ice breaker activities as a way to start a weekly meeting. Below is an unpublished blog about closing your weekly women's group.


How do you close your meetings? Do you remember to take a few moments to pray together and officially “close” your meetings? I have to confess that there have been times in some of my chapel groups that we have gotten so caught up in our faith study discussion that we barely have time to clean up and go pick up kiddos from watch care. Just like in the Mass when we are given a final blessing by the priest we should also take the time make sure our women are “blessed” before they head out the door.

Over the years, I’ve participated in several chapel groups and have experienced different closing prayers.
In my first group ever back in Schweinfurt, Germany one of our ladies instituted Secret Prayer Sisters. Each person would write a special intention that they would like prayer for on a small piece of paper and then drop it in a basket. No names are needed. And then the basket was passed around and each person would take a note and remember to pray for that anonymous request for the week. I would usually keep my request on my bathroom mirror to remind myself to honor that daily request for prayer.

Another group I know closes out their weekly meetings by coming together in a circle and holding hands. They go around the circle and each woman can say out loud their prayer request. If you do not wish to share a request, you simply squeeze the hand of the person next to you and the “squeeze” moves the group prayer forward.

Another chapel group I've been a part of prays Journal Intercessions. We have a pretty notebook that we pass around during the meeting and each person writes their prayer requests in it. When it is time to end our meeting, one person reads aloud each request followed by “We pray to the Lord” and the rest of us respond “Lord, hear our prayer”. Depending on which one of our ladies is leading the closing prayer, we will usually end with a spontaneous-led prayer, or a Hail Mary or a prayer for each of our sisters in Christ.

If spontaneous prayer does not come naturally to you or your ladies, our Catholic faith has a treasure trove of prayers ready to go. We’ve ended our meetings with the Litany to the Saints, the Memorare, the Our Lady of Good Counsel prayer, or special prayer for a Saintly intervention.

Do you have a special way that you close your meetings? Please share in the comments.

Honoring Legacies

Today, I was reflecting on how to honor the legacies of women who have mentored me in my past volunteer efforts. I will soon be taking over an organization that has been successfully and well-run by a lady that has been a positive and enthusiastic leader as well as a mentor to me.

In the past, when I've taken over a leadership role my first response has been to completely overhaul the program and make it my own. Wipe the slate clean, start completely over if you will. I have seen a lot of women use this same approach as well because really, we all think we can do the tasks so much better!! I think about the women who attempted to mentor me and how I brushed off their help because really, I just knew better! And as I've moved on and left leadership to other women, I think about how they have brushed me off because, really they know better!

But as I start to approach this new role, I am finally realizing I need to honor her legacy. I reflect on the organizations that I have led and when the new leaders take over, watching them dump everything that I established and accomplished is so frustrating and sad. And I think- I did the same thing. In every organization, there are things that can be improved. I think every organization needs a fresh breath of air every couple of years or you risk becoming stagnant. I really try not to overstay my welcome as a leader and try to train up new leaders and then move on.

But this time, I plan to honor the legacy left by this amazing woman who helped build a very large organization that I now get the privilege to lead. I will keep some of her programs in place because they work. I will make changes in other areas that could use that "fresh breath of air". I will remember her creativity, her positive attitude and cheerfulness and hope that I can carry on the best of her qualities.

One lesson I've learned from my various leadership volunteer roles is this, listen to the women who have held your position before you. They may not have always done it right or the way you might have gotten the job done. However, they probably learned a lot of lessons along the way that you could avoid and their advice could be very helpful if you would just listen.

Ice Breakers

Do you cringe when you hear the word “icebreaker”? Does it make you think of touchy-feely silly games that force people to talk to each other? Do you do them at every women’s groups or do you only do an icebreaker at your kickoffs? And do you recognize the value of icebreakers at your own chapel groups?

At my chapel group, we do some kind of icebreaker at almost every meeting. Even when it is the same group of women each week it is important to start out with an icebreaker type activity to help the group open up and talk with each other. And sometimes when we have a new member, it’s a good idea to have an icebreaker discussion question on hand to give her a chance to get to know the group as well.

Icebreakers help us to get to know each other, to relax the women in the group so they are comfortable with sharing with each other and help us to build a community with each other. In our group we usually have each person introduce themselves and then share the answer to a pre-chosen question. It is always amazing to find out interesting things about the women we’ve been going to church with and studying the Word of God with each week.
Some of my favorite discussion starters are the following:

What is something that no one in this group knows about you?
How did you and your spouse meet?
What are your strengths?
What are your weaknesses?
How would you react in an emergency situation?

Peruse the internet and you’ll find other great icebreaker activities. I googled “Christian women’s icebreaker activities” and below are some that I found interesting and some that I’ve done before and would recommend.

Blessings
The "I Am Blessed" Christian ice breaker game, suggested by the website Any Occasion Free Christian Game, has women discuss the blessings that they have received from God. An easy way to begin this ice breaker activity is to refer to a Bible passage mentioning blessings, such as Deuteronomy 28:2, which states that "all these blessings shall come on thee, and overtake thee." Write "I am blessed because" on a white board or piece of paper and allow each woman in the group to complete the phrase. Then read all the blessings together.
Two Truths and a Lie
This is a classic ice breaker activity that can be given a Christian spin. Gather the women in a comfortable place, such as sitting in a circle, and instruct each woman to prepare three statements, one which is a lie and two which are true. These can be blessings or facts such as "I became Christian in the year 1990." Each person must say each statement to the group so that the other women can try to determine which statement is false. The group must come to a decision together before the current player reveals the truth.


From: Women's Christian Ice Breaker Activities | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/info_8043048_womens-christian-ice-breaker-activities.html#ixzz27Spbzp3Z

“We Are Similar” Icebreaker Game
Before the meeting, write the following sentence across the top of a dry erase board, chalk board or large sheet of paper:
“______ and I are similar because we…”
Then list a few of following sample similarities below the sentence:
• Are from the same home state
• Laugh the same way
• Like the same book or type of books
• Drive the same type of vehicle
• Have the same favorite color
• Like the same dessert
• Have the same color of eyes
• Wear the same style of shoes
• Have the same number of siblings
• Have been married the same number of years
• Have the same hobby
• Have the same middle initial
• Have the same number of children (including zero)
• Work at the same type of job
• Have children the same ages
• Like the same kind of sandwich

As the ladies enter, give each person an index card and a pencil. When everyone has arrived, say: “Choose a person you do not know well, and write on your card that person’s first name and at least five similarities you share. I’ve listed sample similarities on this poster, but you aren’t limited just these.”
Allow people five minutes to complete their lists and to chat with their partners. Then say: “Now find someone else you do not know well and use the other side of your card to repeat the process with that person. “
After another five minutes, ask people to introduce their two partners by name and to list their similarities. In this way, the group will hear from two different perspective views (Ten things about each person).
From: http://christianicebreakergames.com/2009/05/christian-womens-retreat-icebreaker-games/

The Penny Game
Each person takes a coin or penny from their purse and then shares something that happened to them the year that penny was coined. This might take some pre-planning because you’ll want to make sure to find pennies or coins that were minted after when the majority of the women in your group were born.

Good luck getting to know each other and getting to know each other all over again! Icebreakers might just be that extra spark you need to revitalize your group.

Share some of your favorite ice breaker ideas in the comments below! I'd love hear your successes!

My Favorite Program

Twelve years.
That's how long I've been involved in Catholic women's study groups at the military chapel.
And most of those years, I've led those groups.
In addition to weekly Bible or faith studies, I've put together a number of really great programs. (and a few not so great, too- aint gonna lie!)

My favorite was our end of the year party last May. Cupcake Wars.

This is how it works.

We asked several of our key volunteers to bake and bring two dozen unfrosted cupcakes.
We asked our ladies to bring any cake decorating equipment they own such as cake decorating tips, spreaders, sprinkles, marzipan, candy and anything else they could think of.
I provided a variety of canned and bakery frosting in white, more sprinkles and candy toppings, food coloring, marshmallows, chocolate chips, pretzel sticks, toothpicks and much more.

The ladies knew we were having a cupcake decorating contest. They knew to wear a creative or fun apron. They knew it was a Cupcake War in the tradition of the TV series by the same name. They also knew the theme would be given to them on the day.

Since this was our end of year party and also our summer kick-off, we had passed out invitations during the masses over the weekend so we had a few of our "old-timers" and a few newcomers, too.

I had the women break up into six groups. Because of the number of women present, the groups consisted of two to three women each. And my second request was that as an old-timer, you had to pair up with one of our newcomers!

And then the theme was revealed! Since May is Mary's month and we were still in the Easter Season, our theme was the Glorious Mysteries of the Rosary. Five of the groups were to decorate their 10 cupcakes representing one each of the five mysteries: The Resurrection, The Ascension into Heaven, The Descent of the Holy Spirit, The Assumption of Mary into Heaven and The Coronation of Mary. The sixth team had the task of creating the Apostle's Creed bead, the three Hail Mary beads, the Hail, Holy Queen bead and the five Our Father beads.

The ladies went to work and were very, very creative. It was messy. There was frosting everywhere. And sprinkles everywhere. And cupcakes were consumed. And fingers might have been licked.

We also had a table set aside for our homeschool kids to decorate their own cupcakes. I was quite impressed that most of the kids didn't just frost and throw on sprinkles. There were some thoughtful decorations at that table as well.

When you assemble your cupcake rosary at the end of the program, you can choose to end with a group rosary.

Here is a picture of our completed Cupcake Rosary.

I Have a Lot to Say, It seems

I've been around awhile. As an Army wife that is. And in the beginning of my Army wife life, I worked. And then our daughter came and I just really did not want to work anymore and leave my baby with someone else to take care of during the day. So, my job became full-time mom. And for awhile that was and still is the best job in the world. But with an Army dude husband and the unpredictable home life that comes with that, I was going a little stir-crazy. So, one day a friend suggested a home-based business. Just something to get me out of the house for a little bit and maybe even bring in a little bit of income. I sold kitchen tools and I loved it. And I did pretty well. And then the Army moved us to Germany. And our base did not allow home-based businesses. And there were more Army spouses than there were available jobs. So, I became a volunteer. A perpetual volunteer, it seems. And after 12 years of volunteering, heading up committees, organizing large-scale fundraisers, camping and leading young ladies through badges, teaching young minds about their faith and teaching and learning with like-minded women about my faith it seems I have a lot to say. It seems. And now it seems that it is a good time for me to let some of these up and coming young younger army wives take over some of these leadership reins. I still have a lot to say though. This blog will be an attempt to share the lessons I've learned over the years. I hope to share about some of the really cool stuff I've done. I plan to share about my experiences with the various Spouses Clubs, with my women's faith group, with leading girls in Girl Scouts, volunteering with schools. I've made a career out of being a perpetual volunteer. I hope you learn a little something.